I just turned 58 years old. In all of my years, I’ve only had one good general practitioner MD. ONE. I’d still be with her if I hadn’t moved out of state. She’s the only one I’ve ever trusted or respected at all. She’s the only one who’s ever truly listened to me – and respected my own choices about my own body.
Listen, I always offer a disclaimer at the end of every post. I am not a doctor. I am not a nutritionist. And I am not making any suggestions or giving any advice. I’m simply exploring, talking about my own journey with diabetes, making observations about what is happening in my body/mind/spirit as I go along. Like the old bumper sticker says, “Don’t follow me. I’m lost too.”
Here’s my problem: the joyful abandon with which I ate all of those “healthy” foods has come to a crashing halt due to diabetes. I can’t eat almost any of those foods anymore. Bananas, rice, potatoes (sweet or white), cereal, oats, etc. – all of them are bad for my blood sugar. Even legumes! My body doesn’t process them well anymore, which is really sad for me. I’m not wishing I could eat a donut. I’m wishing I could eat a sweet potato or a banana!
I’ve been solidly back on (and staying on) my blood sugar control program for one month today. My morning fasting blood sugar levels have been mostly between 100 and 110 …
Just FYI: I’m leading this dance now. That’s what happens when I stay on track (which is not always, but I’m working on it!). I thought I’d share what a typical day looks like for me in terms of food and activity.
Trigger/Content Warning: Discussion of harm of weight-loss dieting/focus, mention of calorie deprivation and psychological impacts. Look, I am not a doctor or nutritionist or in any form of medical care (please see my complete disclaimer at the end) – but as an observant human being with a brain, and a lifetime of my own livedContinue reading “Stop Conflating Weight with Health, Particularly with Diabetes”
I’d just been keeping track of everything in regular spiral notebooks, but I decided to make myself a diabetes management journal that would make it easier and more organized for me. They have easy to fill in charts and some encouragement along the way. They will last for six months if you do them daily, which I absolutely will! I like to think I can just manage it in my head, but that truly doesn’t work for me. I’d rather make the little extra effort to keep on keeping track rather than to go through this again. It’s so much easier to stay healthy than to have to try to fight to get back my health and energy!
I’ve mostly adjusted to my new way of eating. I don’t make perfect choices all day long every day by any means, but I’m definitely making better choices most of the time. Every once in a while, I’ll try eating the “old way” – and I’ll quickly be reminded, even in just one meal, that I can’t. There’s no going back, no matter how good I’m feeling.
I’m going to keep paying attention to what are the best choices for me in my daily life to stay well – physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically – even spiritually. To me, it’s all tied together. Freaking out throws me off balance. Strict dietary programs and over-emphasis on activity throw me off balance. I’m riding the waves of recovery from decades of weight loss dieting traumas, negotiating new pathways in my relationship to food and health/well-being. I’m also learning on a deeper level what would have been very helpful for me to know when I was first diagnosed: I don’t have to go to extremes or get this under perfect control immediately – it is okay to take my time and find my way into balance.
This blog isn’t just about “success” in managing my blood sugar – it’s about the ups and downs, the struggles, and the ways I pull myself back up when I fall down. Which is where I am right now: down.