Diabetes management isn’t a race or a one-shot deal. It’s an ongoing dance. For real. It’s not all-or-nothing. I truly benefit from grace and patience with myself. I am fully on my side! I want to feel good and control my blood sugar … and I want to have fun and pleasure with food too. I need to be able to eat “normally” at times – and I suppose I’m fortunate that I am able to do that on occasion without too many repercussions. It’s what I usually do that matters. And the dance goes on ….
TW/CW: This post contains talk of emotional eating/food issues, suicidal ideation and other mental health challenges. I haven’t written in quite a while (months!) – and I’ll tell you why: I really haven’t been doing my program or being careful at all. As a result, my blood sugar has risen and been staying fairly high.Continue reading “The Dance with Diabetes Continues”
Listen, I always offer a disclaimer at the end of every post. I am not a doctor. I am not a nutritionist. And I am not making any suggestions or giving any advice. I’m simply exploring, talking about my own journey with diabetes, making observations about what is happening in my body/mind/spirit as I go along. Like the old bumper sticker says, “Don’t follow me. I’m lost too.”
Here’s my problem: the joyful abandon with which I ate all of those “healthy” foods has come to a crashing halt due to diabetes. I can’t eat almost any of those foods anymore. Bananas, rice, potatoes (sweet or white), cereal, oats, etc. – all of them are bad for my blood sugar. Even legumes! My body doesn’t process them well anymore, which is really sad for me. I’m not wishing I could eat a donut. I’m wishing I could eat a sweet potato or a banana!
Trigger/Content Warning: Discussion of harm of weight-loss dieting/focus, mention of calorie deprivation and psychological impacts. Look, I am not a doctor or nutritionist or in any form of medical care (please see my complete disclaimer at the end) – but as an observant human being with a brain, and a lifetime of my own livedContinue reading “Stop Conflating Weight with Health, Particularly with Diabetes”
I’d just been keeping track of everything in regular spiral notebooks, but I decided to make myself a diabetes management journal that would make it easier and more organized for me. They have easy to fill in charts and some encouragement along the way. They will last for six months if you do them daily, which I absolutely will! I like to think I can just manage it in my head, but that truly doesn’t work for me. I’d rather make the little extra effort to keep on keeping track rather than to go through this again. It’s so much easier to stay healthy than to have to try to fight to get back my health and energy!
I’ve mostly adjusted to my new way of eating. I don’t make perfect choices all day long every day by any means, but I’m definitely making better choices most of the time. Every once in a while, I’ll try eating the “old way” – and I’ll quickly be reminded, even in just one meal, that I can’t. There’s no going back, no matter how good I’m feeling.
I’m going to keep paying attention to what are the best choices for me in my daily life to stay well – physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically – even spiritually. To me, it’s all tied together. Freaking out throws me off balance. Strict dietary programs and over-emphasis on activity throw me off balance. I’m riding the waves of recovery from decades of weight loss dieting traumas, negotiating new pathways in my relationship to food and health/well-being. I’m also learning on a deeper level what would have been very helpful for me to know when I was first diagnosed: I don’t have to go to extremes or get this under perfect control immediately – it is okay to take my time and find my way into balance.